SOME EMAILS DISCUSSING ABOUT THE RECORDING

This is part of the email I sent Kelvin and Vivien before the recording so that they could have an idea of what was going to happen, a bit too long...

'Apart from that I feel very excited about tomorrow's recording as finally I have a more clear idea of what I am working on. My artistic process some times is a bit painful and I don't know what I am doing until the last minute, I work much from intuition which makes it a bit difficult to explain to others what I am really thinking about (as I don't even know myself in a way). So it happens that I wasn't sure about what object I could be making to represent your journey and project some images on top of it, I wanted to introduce some performative action as we talked before but nothing was making much sense. I have being working making some sketches of Hepatitis C virus in clay but very unsuccessfully I have to confess. Then I decided to start from the beginning again and re-read your texts and think about the chat we had when we meet and I guess it has been always there, in its name itself but I couldn't see it until now. You have always been talking about a "journey", a journey which has taken you outside what used to be your normal life (travelling, living in the middle of nowhere in Spain, etc) into a world of new experiences and emotions (crying, feeling weak, lost of control, anorexia, thinking about death but also hope and probably more self knowledge), and a journey it is something that has a beginning and an end, it is not like a cycle, it starts and it finishes at a point, so I thought the best kind of art to represent or express or talk about this matter should be a time based piece, that means a short video. That means I won't be making any object, the piece will be definitely just a video.

The video will be something very simple and the actions will be symbolic. As I see your journey through the disease it is not like a journey through a land but an internal journey which connects more with your emotional and personal world. I thought breathing could be a good metaphor of what means to walk through our lives, so basically I want to record you breathing. I don't need you to act, just breath, I will guide you so it will be a very easy thing to do, also I thought breathing has to do with yoga and meditation and I think this oriental-Indian world is something to which you connect very deeply. At a point I will ask you to close your eyes and keep on breathing.

When you close your eyes, I will insert images (when editing the video I mean, not in reality) of textures an places build with clay that will try to express the confusion and different emotional states through which you have been through since you realized you were infected with the virus. Then you will open your eyes again and you will keep on breathing and will leave. The journey would become a sort of dream or a nightmare as you want to see it, which as I said has a beginning and an end.

Some of my inspiration comes from this sentence which University of Valencia uses on their website about the Art and Disease project,

“Illness is the night side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.”

This dream I want to record will become a metaphor of this "other place" you have been obliged to walk through, but this way gets to an end after treatment.

Other references are video artist Bill Viola and animator Jan Švankmajer.

When you close your eyes I thought I would drop some liquid clay (which we call slip) on top of your head (sorry) so that it would cover your face, as if clay was the material of which this dream was made of, this slip dries out very fast and it leaves a thin coat which can be very easily clear, I thought the end of the dream could be marked by you clearing this clay from your eyes to open them again. I am not sure about doing this, I will make some tests today and we can discuss it together. I don't want you to do anything which may make you feel uncomfortable. We will see tomorrow.

Just to finish a few technical issues about the recording, bring normal clothes you like, just we need to avoid any logo or brand name, any bright green or royal blue colour, any stripes, this is because of the recording with a green screen so that I can create a fake background on my computer, it is the system they use to record the weather forecast, I am sure you have seen it before. If you want to try with the clay bring an old shirt, I have had accidents with the slip before and it has always washed out but some other people says it can bleach lightly, so better not to take any risks.

Also if you have any picture from your travels, like landscapes or city landscapes, it would be nice if you could borrow a couple of them to me so that I could scan them and use them as background for the video, or of you have them in digital format just send me the file by email, if not don't worry I'll find some myself.

I hope I didn't bored you too much with this massive email,

Looking forward to seeing you again,

Regards,

Susana'

And this is what they answered:

'We are not at all bored by your email. We understand everything you want to do and agree it seems a very simple and powerful way of communication.

Just to be clear, I have always felt so positive about my chances to beat this virus that no tears were spilt on this journey, not from me anyway, I know my family were very worried, but apart from the time I spent in Bali hospital very confused and unsure what this disease meant, I have been very focussed and positive for the rest of the time.

I will bring a selection of tops for you to choose one, I will also bring my laptop for you to select which background pictures you want from our travels. I will need access to the internet to send them straight to you in the studio, if this is not possible, I will email whichever ones you choose as soon as we get home. We have some stunning sunsets taken from the cortijo and many fab, groovy, windswept and interesting shots from our travels.

I have to say I'm quite excited by your new concept and will do everything in my power not to bugger it up, simple works for me. I can't wait to see what images you come up with as background to my closed eyes, my thoughts during this journey will be based solely on the idea of getting better and will not be a nightmare. But if nightmare works better for you Susana, you must do what you think is best for you as an artist, I will agree with whatever you want to do.

I love your piece from the University of Valencia, it's very powerful and mirrors exactly my own thoughts. I felt exactly that I was 'obliged' to identify and deal with being in that other place. Brilliant, it's a beautiful analogy from a kindred spirit.

 

“Illness is the night side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.” 

Just a thought, if you think the message might be more powerful with be bare torso with the transplant scar visible, that could be an option if you prefer (unless it's freezing in the studio)!

We're both really looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow.

Kelvin & Vivien'

 

To what I pointed, 

 

'Hi,

I forgot to mention this sentence was written by Susan Sontag, a writer, filmmaker, and political activist, I think she had a cancer and during her experience she wrote a book called "Disease as Metaphor" where this quote comes from, she was really good, she wrote very interesting things about the interpretation of art too. About the images when you close the eyes my intention is to create something very abstract, ambiguous, like emotions, I am thinking in textures made with clay and inspired by the images of the virus probably, so whether this is positive, negative, a dream or a nightmare would be up to the viewer's imagination, I won't be giving any determined point of view but a suggestion, in art I try not to impose my meanings over others so this should remain open, anyway, when you "wake up" from the dream you may smile or laugh, which I think could give this sort of happy ending feeling which describes your history more than probably others, we can discuss this more in depth tomorrow, also about the half nakedness, which I think could work very well, but let's see which temperature we find as sometimes college is literally freezing...and many thanks for finding some travel pictures for me!

Thanks a lot for all your help,

Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow again,

Susana'

 

So yes, now we are ready for recording, all is clear and everybody is happy, by the way, Kelvin is trying to find Susan Sontag's book as he relly found this quote so inspiring (so do I).